my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
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