Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
