We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
