If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
