when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
