Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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