If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
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Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
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I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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