May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize