I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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