Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
It's official drugs can't kill me
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
