I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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