dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
