So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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