if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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