Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
