Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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