Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
