I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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