i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
