Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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