Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Randomize
