so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
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Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize