p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
