i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
she peed on how many people?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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