I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Randomize
