By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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