Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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