I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
We left the knife in your bed.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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