Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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