Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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