i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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