Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
