There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
They are going to name an STD after you.
You are the jesus of drinking
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize