plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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