I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
