I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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