Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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