hotel room ftw
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
