I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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