I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
