he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
God, you're like boner-b-gone
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
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i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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