so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
