Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
