We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
