My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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