I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i can't believe i had my finger in that
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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