Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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