I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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