just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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