1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
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I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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