He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize