3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
