So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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