Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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