i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
