guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
