no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
