Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize