my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
