Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I need a beard to bite.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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