i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
