if you like me you must not know who I am
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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