I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
