I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
