***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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