I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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